RELATIONSHIP. Some of us want to run when we see that word, some smile because they’re in one and some pick up the phone, call their best friend and max out Capital One credit cards because they’ve just been “dumped”.
EITHER WAY, we can all relate…
In July 2003, “How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days” was released, after watching it recently, I was inspired to pen this comedic-reality of a post!
In the movie..
“Andie Anderson (Kate Hudson) is a journalist, who works for a magazine called Composure as the “How to…” woman. She’s bored and wishes she could write more about important things, such as politics, economics, religion, poverty, and so on. She soon finds herself writing an article called “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.” Andie tells her boss that, to write more freely and creatively, she’ll date a man and do all the wrong things women tend to do in relationships, and record her experiences for the article.
At the same time, advertising executive Benjamin Barry (Matthew McConaughey) tells his boss that he can make any woman fall in love with him in just ten days. To prove it, he’ll find a woman and bring her to the upcoming company ball as his date. If he succeeds, he gets to be in charge of the advertising for the new diamond company account otherwise headed by his boss.”
After watching the movie, I thought, there are so many things men do that sadly disgust or frighten us and we get the role of the “maniac” or “dramatic”. In turn, I composed a list of things guys do that will have us females running for the door… in 10 days … ENJOY!
This is personally my number one! I feel like lacking emotion sometimes is equivalent to lacking interest in me or the matter at hand. As much as we (ladies) hate to admit it, we females are emotional beings. By emotional I DO NOT mean kleenex and a gallon of Ben & Jerry’s, but emotional meaning, over-caring NOT over-bearing! So when something is bothering us, we want to “talk about it”. (Some) guys do not seem to understand how important communication is! If you can’t talk to one another, chances are it’s going to be a rocky road. No relationship is ever perfect BUT things can be better if you have small pow-wows versus major blow ups. A little talking here and there will lessen the big shit, basically. TRY and hear her out! Most females do not want to lose what they have [when it is a good thing], so we strive to be problem free as much as you all do, but you have to accept that we are communicative… emotional… whatever you want to call it! ”Guys can’t handle it because they’re not used to displaying emotions so they don’t understand them…” says my good friend Kim, when I approached her about the piece I was working on. Why is it guys stray away from emotion? It DOES NOT make you any less of a man, but more of an actual being!
-having a psychotic ex girlfriend or “baby mother”
The “ex-file” is a card we (females) rarely want to pull but sometimes it is necessary to see what a guys’ preference or selection of female is (mentally and physically) OR because she just won’t go away! Sadly, there are some women who do not know how to let go once their “ex” has! If you are that woman and you are reading this: it is not OK, especially to involve the current girlfriend. Halting your ex’s current situation is putting you further behind then you think you’re putting him. Other than that it’s CLEARLY not a good look! GUYS this is where you come in… DO NOT let your ex and current girlfriend bicker over you! That does mean you’re hot shit because you have two women going back and forth! That just means their foolish, you’re just as foolish as them and you’re probably good in bed! Understanding you’re the epi-center of the “beef” means you have the ultimate control. “Be a man about it.”
Fellas, be more upfront with a girl and she will know what she’s working with. Don’t wait for her Dad to ask what are your intentions before you speak them and ladies, ASK HIM! Most times we don’t because we are timid about the response we do not want to hear. Eh, better safe than sorry! It will be less likely, not unlikely, that she’ll get attached if she knows what it is you want! For those of you saying “I told her and she’s still on me…” WELL GUESS WHAT!! At the same time, if you do not want a relationship, let your actions reflect that! You CAN NOT spend a gazillion hours with her, do relationship-like things and continue to protest how you are not ready. How are you not ready for something you are practically in?! Come on guys!
ANY form of internet socialism, is just that. When a female sees a guy trying to hook up with other women via facebook or whatever … that’s a turn off and it is also sneaky! We know sneakiness is a no-no! riiiiight? ALSO, if that is the way you two met, forget about it. Chances are that’s going to get thrown at you when you’re up late night glued to pop chat … “Well that’s the way we met, so what are you saying??”. Ladies, please lock up and keep safe in your mind the way you “got him”. Don’t be surprised. Ultimately, there is no generalization about social networking, that comes to the parties involved. I personally believe boundaries should be discussed, not in a militant manner, just to ensure both parties understand what is and what is not walking on eggshells for one another.
-not being open-minded
Being a crab in a barrel-one in the same as others- leaves no room for a gal to get to know YOU! There is nothing wrong with being eclectic, broadening your genre of music, maybe going to a museum every now and again, exercising (your mind and body) together, walks in the park on a nice day while discussing is life pre-destined or not, etc.! It is actually refreshing to step out of the box. In turn you’ll learn more about your lady and she’ll give extra brownie points for not being the average Joe Schmoe of a boyfriend!
-having an unhealthy obsession
Everyone has had or has a ”hollywood crush” or have “mistakenly” awaken to Showtime at 3a.m. when “naughty college nurses” just happen to be on; HOWEVER, those people on the screen or in magz and videos should not affect your relationship! Chances are you will not be stroking Alicia Keys in this life time, so it would help if you did not constantly talk about her ass and hips to your girlfriend. Or at worst, constantly compare her to ANYONE! A few times, she might even tell you “Hey, your girl is on…”. Find a way to insinuate what you would like her to try or do. “Why don’t you/we do that?!” is a no go! It’ll have you in the dog house and have her insecure.
-having “stalker” tendencies
If a girl is interested, TRUST ME AND GOD, you will know. There is no need to press the issue, resend texts because you “think” she did not respond the first 3 times because she “probably didn’t get them”, send messages of interest through mutual friends at social gatherings or insist that “somewhere down the line” you just know you two are “meant to be”! uhhhh ..NO! Ebb and Flow darling, ebb and flow!
-the infamous “mama’s boy”
Awww isn’t that adorable. NOT! When you are in a relationship and even have a live-in girlfriend, do not compare what or how she does things to the way your mom does things. Mommy always knows best but you also have to be considerate that you are dealing with someone in a different manner. Kindly suggest that she make her eggs differently without saying offensively, “my mom doesn’t make it like that…”! tisk tisk tisk and try making it an us/we” thing versus “me”.
If you (guys) can not hold a decent conversation outside of text messaging, HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM! These guys really exist! You have 2 hour stimulating conversations every other night, finally get some face to face time and you can almost hear a pen drop due to the fact you are tired of being the conversation starter! See, text messaging can get you into trouble. Obviously seeing your phone ring at 6:01 and not answering, and then texting your girl at 6:01 and 47 seconds with the audacity to say “what’s up”. I can tell you what’s not up! If you have no sensible reason for not actually answering, (meeting, funeral, class, job that does not allow texting because some do, etc.) that screams “I’M DOING SOMETHING I HAVE NO BUSINESS DOING” !! Then you all wonder where the accusations come from. Ha! Consider the shoe being on the other foot, be considerate.
Eh, I’m just saying…
Perhaps Cinderella never dropped her glass slipper, but ran out of it.
Take note Prince Charming!