If You’re Married, Then Why Are You Still Hanging With Your Single Friends???

Everyone is discussing this hot topic after viewing the first episode of “Lala’s Full Court Wedding”, in which a very philosophical Tyrese poses the question to Lala, “Are you a Wife?” “Why are you still hanging with all single women?” “Why are you not hanging out with married women who have been married for a long time? You can’t be in the spirit of being married, hanging out with a bunch of single people.”

I thought, wow Tyrese, very insightful of you to pose such a thought provoking question, but I also thought hmmm, she also probably shouldn’t be dining with a single ,sexy man such as yourself, but I know , “Your just a friend”…
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Can Married People Co-Mingle with their Single friends without detriment to their marriage?

Back to the question at hand, now I wouldn’t consider myself an expert, but I do have some expertise advice and tons of experience when it comes to marriage, some I unfortunately had to learn through failure, but that’s ok, because I get to share with all of you who may benefit from my mistakes…

I’ll make this real short and sweet! If you are married, you absolutely should not be hanging out with a bunch of single friends, it’s in no way conducive to your relationship. As a rule of thumb, couples should hang with other married couples, why? Because it just makes sense… Marriage and Married life is like a fraternity or sorority and not everyone is cut out for the club, so it’s important to keep the company of like minded individuals who have that common bond, break bread together and share experiences, it’s helpful to know that other married people share your fears, stresses, annoyances and marital bliss.

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So you’re probably saying what about my single friends whom were in my life before my mate? Well, I’m not saying kick them to the curb, but the truth is, that the dynamics of your relationship will have to change and true friends will understand. Marriage is a huge step, that shouldn’t be taken lightly and sacrifices and change are necessary and to be expected in order for a marriage to be successful. So no you can’t go clubbing, but a lunch and shopping date is cool and no you can’t stay on the phone to the wee hours of the morning discussing last night’s date, but a short text saying hope you had a great night is thoughtful. The fact is, that single and married people live on different planets and although a short visit every now and then to the other side is ok, anything longer than that will inevitably cause issues and invite unnecessary drama and problems into your your sacred home.

Photobucket41948, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - Thursday June 24 2010. Kim Kardashian and Lala Vasquez walk arm in arm after having dinner together at Nobu restaurant to celebrate Lala's birthday. Photograph: Anthony, PacificCoastNews.com *FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES**Kim Kardashian and singer friend Lala go out to dinner at Katsuya in Hollywood, CA on July 29, 2010. Fame Pictures, Inc

For the friends that don’t or won’t understand, it simply means that you’ve outgrown them, their season is over and it’s time to move on. It’s just that simple.

We all know the saying, “the grass is greener”… Trust, after being married for awhile, its completely normal to long for the single life every now and then, but best believe there are plenty of single people that long for that one person to come to home to every night, because there honestly is nothing like the stability of married life. With that said, it’s no easy task, which is why the divorce rate is over 50%, so why not just alleviate some issues that you do have control over…

Another small piece of advice is to definitely consider couple counseling before and during marriage as a preventative tool. A trained professional is a great tool for helping resolve issues before they become nuisances and I have a feeling that if you pose this question to any trained therapist or spiritual counselor, they will give the same answer.

Till the next XOXO, Jeannell Aka 30Somethingandfab
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Writer/Editor/Financial Analyst all around fly Chica. 1 word to describe me= LOVE

7 Comments

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